photography lovers,here u go

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a small jump: up

here i was thinking of the most of those kinda thoughts about life as in what was i ever going to do in life what will ever give me the same driving force as i once had and what can really set my mind , capture my imagination and and give me satisfaction as i believed i once possesed.
these days ( in my 2nd year 2nd sem.) these thoughts keep coming up again and again once i see sb else (oooh i see those satisfied souls all around) who is deriving pleasure from what he does (as i see it) and giving him furthur incentive to carry on . these comparisons occur repeatedly to me as i cant stop them with simple mind diversion.
and with each 1 i see myself shrinking and crumbling in my confidence and positive optimistic attitude.
the kinda diminish me so much that i see my self so comfortable in a little detached black corner. sometime it does sort of give me pleasure but as u see i am a normal evolutionary product and i do have a driving force that tells me that i do have a bigger purpose in life and i must not stagnate gods process of uplifting mankind to perfection.
and then 1 of those pulling moments happen to me that kinda give u a very different kinda satisfaction
as i opened my mailbox and replied to my dads photos and messages.
i always shy off or slowly squeeze away wen it comes to contacting dad via mail as i dont give time at all to think about him and my mom and brother and the rest of the family to say anything fruitfull to him. and guess wat as i did just that today (i wrote to him ) it gave me a sense of satisfaction which was rare but very well familiar (as i must have done similar things in the past :)  ). and so i got my inspiration for this blog as i wanted to record that satisfaction and a strong positive thought.
the satisfaction was such that instead of putting a full stop after a few lines i wrote a dozen lines.here it goes:->
yes papa,
im all right and happy and enjoying life here..........
parth has really taken good photographs .....
life is really getting well here....
hope u dont take much tension with parth's studies because he has the
right guidance and he is following the right path and sooner or later
he will achieve all his goals ( what he has set and what we all expect
of him) with his positive attitude....
u must take care that parth has enough time to play as well and i
think he must not be overbound in any way (include tv hours and sleep
time).
hope u go for walks and do yoga.
as for yoga u must not hurry it up (at most times) and u will get even
more benefit from it (as i am getting).
enjoy the winter and our progress..
the point is that i thought for my family and then took a small step for them by writing this mail. and that it did supported and reenergized that driving force and that force did pull me up (for some time ....) and gave me the sight of a bigger picture instead of the microscopic picture i keep before my eyes and try to amend it . and u know thats y god created that force to make u realise "at all times u r part of an evolutionary scheme".
and that letter i wrote helped me realise that my life is not just for me to worry and live but family people r interlinked and rather part of it as much as i am . and any decision i take must have this consideration as one of its founding purposes......